... and my eye beholds more beauty with each passing day. I am amazed at this little life that has been entrusted to my care. I try to savor every precious moment...drink it all in, slurp it up, stare endlessly, and fall hopelessly in love all over again every time those little arms wrap around me.
The truth of the matter is that my husband left when I was 3 months pregnant, and this may be the only baby I ever have. Maybe it's the fear of never getting to experience this again that makes me that much more aware of the swift movement of time and the transience of each moment, but I have a sneaking suspicion that many mothers, whatever their circumstances, feel this way.
I want to be thoroughly present even in the moments that are woefully unglamorous. There are times when I fail miserably at this; times when I let the uncertainties of life get in the way of enjoying what is happening before my very eyes. And, then I snap back to my senses, and get back to the business of savoring the moment. When I've read the same cardboard book 14 times in a row, or gently scolded Levi for poking me in the eye for the 500th time, or just had to clean all manner of baby ickiness off of the bathroom floor, or done the 10th load of laundry for the day, I have to remind myself that someday I will miss this. Someday, I will wish for this again.
Can you tell I'm getting sentimental over my baby becoming a toddler? Where did the time go? I've been determined to relish every single second of every single day since I got pregnant, and for the most part I've succeeded. But, my, oh, my has it gone by quickly. I can't count the number of times I've prayed that God would just let me stay in this or that moment just a little bit longer. The countless breathtakingly beautiful moments by far outweigh all of life's pains. And, if you ask me, that is a true blessing.
They totally grow up way fast eh? It is so awesome that you are taking in every moment!
ReplyDeleteOh yes where does the time go...I hear you *sigh*
ReplyDeleteYou lap it up Mama.
Aw ... this makes me tear up a bit. I think you're right -- seeing your baby morph into a toddler has a way of making you want to relish and savor even more than usual all those moments, even the unglamorous ones. Hugs....
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing, trying to hold on. My boy who just turned two seems like he has already grown up so much. How is it possible?
ReplyDeleteMy dad left when I was a baby. I feel like I've "been there" even though I was on the kid side of things and not the mom side. My mom and I have a really special close bond. And although I was an only child for 15 years, she did remarry and have more kids. Now I have little brothers who are 9 and 10, and it's fabulous! :)
Oh, Madeline. I didn't know that about your husband. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're a terrific mama. Keep savoring those moments.
You are wise to savor the moments. I didn't do that with Millie. She was just such a difficult baby...and really just the transition to being a mom was challenging for me. That first year couldn't go by fast enough! **sigh** I am thankful that I've been given a second and third chance, and I have certainly learned to enjoy those baby years.
ReplyDeleteMadeline, Levi is so blessed to have you! You're a great mom!
thanks for sharing madeline, I didn't know what happened to your husband and I didn't want to ask.
ReplyDeleteFrom spending close to 9 months with you, I know you are a strong and wonderful woman and I am confident that you are a loving and devoted mother. I will pray that God's grace will stretch out the baby time you have with Levi and that you will be able to enjoy every moment you have with him at such a tender age. Love you!