The New Year doesn't typically move me. I'm not a resolution setter or even a watch the ball drop kind of gal. January 1st is no newer than any other day. Really, every day is a new year. But this year is a little different. I've been ready for 2011 since somewhere around the beginning of 2010. Yes, incredible things happened in 2010...
I married the most wonderful fella this side of the Mighty Mississippi.
I gave birth to the sweetest, bubbliest, happiest little gal in town.
And, I watched Levi become an incredible big brother.
Truth be told, though, 2010 made me tired. However exciting all of those things were, once you add in never ending house renovations and a husband working two jobs you just get one overwhelmed mama. When I became pregnant with Sophia, everyday tasks quickly turned into drudgery and even playing with Levi was often difficult. I spent most of the year not feeling like myself, and joy no longer came as easily as it once had. But, it wasn't until the other day that I fully realized how unlike myself I've felt this past year. As I was sitting by the fire place crocheting, a peace and lightness of spirit come over me. I haven't felt that in a very long time. A weight lifted from my shoulders that day, and ever since I've gotten more and more glimpses of myself settling back in. Joy has become easier, and less forced. How crazy is it that I didn't even realize how much I was trying to force it?
Today...7 days into this new year...despite being woken up well before dawn...I felt almost entirely like me again. Motherhood wasn't such a struggle. The mess that has accumulated through the holidays and illnesses didn't send my head spinning. I did what I could and was really okay with it being enough. The kids and I wandered aimlessly, danced in the kitchen, and cooked....meals, cookies, and even play dough. It was simple and normal stuff, but it all just felt right.
I do believe that 2011 is going to be a good year.