Friday, January 7, 2011

2011, I Think I Really Like You

The New Year doesn't typically move me.  I'm not a resolution setter or even a watch the ball drop kind of gal.  January 1st is no newer than any other day.  Really, every day is a new year.  But this year is a little different.  I've been ready for 2011 since somewhere around the beginning of 2010.  Yes, incredible things happened in 2010...

I married the most wonderful fella this side of the Mighty Mississippi.


I gave birth to the sweetest, bubbliest, happiest little gal in town.

Tea Bath

And, I watched Levi become an incredible big brother.


Truth be told, though, 2010 made me tired.  However exciting all of those things were, once you add in never ending house renovations and a husband working two jobs you just get one overwhelmed mama.  When I became pregnant with Sophia, everyday tasks quickly turned into drudgery and even playing with Levi was often difficult.  I spent most of the year not feeling like myself, and joy no longer came as easily as it once had.  But, it wasn't until the other day that I fully realized how unlike myself I've felt this past year.  As I was sitting by the fire place crocheting, a peace and lightness of spirit come over me.  I haven't felt that in a very long time.  A weight lifted from my shoulders that day, and ever since I've gotten more and more glimpses of myself settling back in.  Joy has become easier, and less forced.  How crazy is it that I didn't even realize how much I was trying to force it? 
Today...7 days into this new year...despite being woken up well before dawn...I felt almost entirely like me again.  Motherhood wasn't such a struggle.  The mess that has accumulated through the holidays and illnesses didn't send my head spinning.  I did what I could and was really okay with it being enough.  The kids and I wandered aimlessly, danced in the kitchen, and cooked....meals, cookies, and even play dough. It was simple and normal stuff, but it all just felt right. 

I do believe that 2011 is going to be a good year.


  1. *big grins*
    2011 is gonna be good!!
    i feel it in my bones, i'm glad you do too!!

  2. YAY for that!! You have had an amazingly busy year havent you! I admit that I have not felt myslef this past year either and am hoping for a more 'normal' year too.

  3. So wonderful....I'm glad that you are getting glimpses of joy.
    Sounds like you and I had sort of the same type of 2010 2011 is also looking up all of the sudden....being a mother to littles, financial stress and a LOT of alone time has a way of making one *lose* themselves at times.
    I LOVE you wedding perfect - and I didn't realize that you are a new bride?!

  4. I know EXACTLY what you mean! When I was pregnant with my second, P, my husband had a lot of stress at work and ended up quitting without another job lined up. It was a horrible time. I was a mess. I forced myself to do things for Allie, who was 2 at the time and I enjoyed her, but I remember one day when P was a few weeks old, I started making a list of the things I wanted to do...something that I had not had the energy to do in a while. I started thinking of going to the park and just doing little things with the kids and realized suddenly it was SO much easier, it was like I had been walking around with lead limbs or something and all of that had just dropped felt so RIGHT, as you said :)

    Even so, I can tell that you have always enjoyed every minute with your kids and I just love reading your blog!

  5. Oh, those pictures! Such joy!!


  6. Happy 2011, it really will be a good one. I can feel it!!

    Looking forward to more of those smiles!

  7. unfortunately, that seems to be the life norm. you can't enjoy it while it's happening, and the second the "fog lifts" you wish you could relive those happy (but foggy) times. i hope that 2011 brings us together in person.

  8. Dera, That would make 2011 one heck of an incredible year! I hope so too!!!

  9. I remember that feeling so well. When I realized that I hadn't felt like "me" but really only realized that as I was finally starting to become me again. Does that make sense? I clocked the process for me to take 20 months, start to finish. It was a long journey away from myself. It was so good to come back home. Welcome home.


I'm so glad you're here!